Once upon a time there was a boy who lived with his old, mute
grandma. They lived in a rusty house but I bet it will be nice in the
inside. One day he was asleep and he
woke up. He was walking through the forest as he saw something sparkling on the
ground. He walked over to it and picked it up. It was a black hat, but then
creatures started to drop out onto the ground. He decided to take the creatures
home.
The next day he woke up and two creatures flew away so he found
them and then they left again so then he went home. He was so sad that he had
tears dripping down the front of his eyes. He was very upset and horrified that
his creatures had flown away into the coldness, but they were happy that they
were set free. Every day the boy would get lonely not having his creatures with
him.
Then his sister flew over to the country from a sunny place.
She walked inside her brothers’ house to see him unhappy. There was nothing
that would cheer the boy up. One day his sister and him set off on an adventure
through the tiny bushy forest, watching the birds fly with the freezing, cold
wind. He was getting worried because he thought the birds were going to freeze
so he tried to call them back but they did not listen.
I like the way you have wrote your story because you have added in some good adjectives. T.D
ReplyDeleteI like the way you described how he felt and they way you didn't use the same sentence startes
ReplyDeleteI liked how you ended the story. I can really relate to the boys sad position.
ReplyDeleteI love how you have grate sentences starters.
ReplyDelete